You have to applaud Konami for Rumble Roses, really. The majority of games exist to tweak the very base of our primal instincts, such as the instinct to defend our territory. Sex isn’t generally as big a part of the modern video game as it is of the big screen blockbusters, although that does seem to be changing with releases such as Leisure Suit Larry: Magna Cum Laude, Playboy: The Mansion and to an extent, Dead or Alive Xtreme Beach Volleyball. This isn’t to say that the industry is fully mature, rather it is now more aware of what can be done.
There is a story to be found in Rumble Roses, but its one of those paper-thin plotlines that isn’t really of any consequence to man nor beast. That isn’t as big a tragedy as it could have been in other titles, since the main focus is on how many of the shapely and (apparently) realistic arses you can kick as one of the twenty-two available characters. Unlike other wrestling titles, there’s no licensing to be found (other than in selected portions of the soundtrack) and this means that the developers had full reign as to what could occur, and of course, over the character development. And it shows.
It shows when the characters come out to greet the crowd before the match, for sure. The first time that you see a female ninja do a backflip from a giant inflatable frog, into a shower of rose petals, it shows. It shows when Aisha comes to the stage, thong showing above her waistline, and performs a dance that wouldn’t look out of place at Stringfellow’s on a Friday night. As is always the way, it doesn’t matter how things look though, because if the fighting engine is more Attitude than Smackdown! vs. Raw, Roses wouldn’t be worth playing.
Luckily, Yukes were on board for this one. What seems like a much-modified (and somewhat simplified) version of the Smackdown! vs. Raw engine comes into play here, and holds up well considering the limitations in each character’s moveset. It wouldn’t surprise me at all if you got to the end of the second match and found that you’ve used all of your chosen grappler’s available moves – and that’s not a good thing. Even the most complicated of Tekken-style button pressing routines won’t persuade your fighter to pull off a double-arm DDT if it doesn’t exist as part of their set of “ready” moves, and this makes the game feel repetitive after only a few short plays.
With that said, the differences in the way each character controls can be refreshing and lead to a whole new playing experience. Fighting as a cowgirl for example, feels completely different to fighting as a schoolgirl, or one of the other stereotypical teenage fantasies. This doesn’t alleviate the repetition when it comes to the overall game flow though, since however many badly-scripted and voiced cutscenes come into play between matches, you’re still just fighting one-on-one again and again. To make matters worse, saving the game isn’t an option in the Story Mode either. Complete it or quit, there are your options.
As far as looks go, Rumble Roses is a fine experiment in modelling the human body in videogames. Realistic cellulite, all the womanly nooks and crevices and a fair number of variations on the Dead or Alive “jiggle” animation come into play here, but do remember that they’re just a bunch of pixels, won’t you’ They aren’t your girlfriends, and you’ll never marry one of them, even if another reviewer gets carried away and starts referring to the characters as “totty”. Rant over.
On top of the repetition, the ease of progression in Rumble Roses is a little unnerving. I’m not the world’s greatest gamer (far, far from it) and I managed to walk through the story mode with Aisha, only losing one match in the process. Now, even with mud wrestling playing a part, that still isn’t a great advertisement for substance over style.
And that’s the main problem. Rumble Roses shouldn’t have been a mere experiment in titillation. Rather, the target should have been to create a fine wrestling title that happened to feature an all-female cast. Unfortunately, these roles have been reversed and we’re left with an average game that looks like the characters were developed first, with the gameplay being filled in as the coders went along. Enjoyable for a short while, Rumble Roses won’t stand the test of time as the Smackdown! or Dead or Alive series have.
